Lessons from a Year in the Trenches

Wholly Fabi is one year old. It was a very good year.

Now, don’t mistake me: it was a year of really hard work—both tangible and intangible. Moments of throat-clenching anxiety and crippling self-doubt alternated with bouts of blissful alignment and surges of dizzying creativity; body-shaking sobs danced with belly laughs and perma-grins.

In the end, while I was able to triumphantly overcome several hangups, I am also left with the feeling of having been broken open, with all the pain and pleasure that it can entail.

More than anything, though, it all boils down to this: you are here and you are reading my post. And because of this, I want to take a moment to share some of what I’ve learned throughout this whole whirlwind year.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

In 2015, I’d gotten to what I can now see was a tipping point. While there were areas in my life where I was now thriving—after doing painstaking work to re-infuse my life with the joy that I knew I deserved—there were still some very rough areas that were having a negative effect on my whole being, and I knew something had to be done.

But to say I was scared to shake the boat is an understatement. Still, one day, gripped  by inspiration I found myself writing this in all caps in my journal:

I WOULD LIKE TO BE RELEASED FROM MY PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES, SO THAT I CAN EXPAND.

Less than a month later, I was indeed “released”… from my job. That day, as I walked back to my car in the middle of the day, head still buzzing, I couldn’t help but repeat I manifested this! I manifested this! I stopped at the store and bought myself a bottle of champagne on the way home.

But my point here is not to feed you a very woo woo story. You might be into this stuff, or you might not be. Regardless, on reality remains:

[ctt template=”3″ link=”b9f_3″ via=”yes” ]If you concentrate your energy—physically, mentally or emotionally—on something, you are giving it a tremendous amount of power. [/ctt]

I’m not talking about all the wishes and affirmations that you may say outloud, when your inner voice says completely the opposite; I’m referring to the thoughts that constantly haunt you. Those are where your energy is going.

Ever hear the phrase Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want? Same idea.

Be mindful about what you’re truly wishing for with your thoughts. It may very well come to pass.

WHAT YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS

This kind of segues from the previous point. Have you noticed people talking like this in your life? Maybe you actually do this yourself.

I never meet anyone interesting.
Nothing I do ever works.
I just can’t seem to find a job that makes me happy.
Bad things always happen to me.

What you focus on expands. If that’s where your focus is, guess what’s going to keep happening?

This is why I’ve made gratitude such a fundamental part of my philosophy—both in my personal life and in my coaching. When you start focusing on all the fundamentally good stuff that happens to you, and being deliberately grateful for is, it will take precedence over the rest.

In every single situation—good or bad—I always actively seek at least one thing for which I can be grateful. This has helped me cultivate incredible perspective and resilience and the best part? It’s accessible to EVERYONE! You just need to get grateful—wholeheartedly and consistently.

YOUR VOICE MATTERS

I have a voice
You have a voice
We all have a voice.

Too often, we don’t dare speak up. We silently nod along, finding things that resonate with us, but we refrain from joining the conversation. We convince ourselves that our voice doesn’t matter.

Worse: we stop asking ourselves what we really think, because who could even care about our opinion? Because of this, we don’t dare being vulnerable and potentially going against the grain.

[ctt template=”3″ link=”4aKuX” via=”yes” ]It’s much more comfortable to repeat commonly agreed-upon opinions, mindlessly parrot others, and brush off emotions. But it’s also cheap. [/ctt]

Above all, it’s a disservice to everyone. 

We need to own our voice to be authentic. And we need to be authentic so forge real connections, not only with the people who are immediately around us, but with anyone we can reach with this voice of ours. And you might be surprised how many that is.

ACTION BEGETS ACTION

Much like waiting until you feel 100% ready to have children is a fallacy (newsflash: you’re never fully ready), waiting until you feel fully prepared to take action—any action—will get you nowhere.

[ctt template=”3″ link=”Eai02″ via=”yes” ]Do you know what’s the best way to do what you want to do? By doing it. Simplistic? Yes, maybe. But no less true![/ctt]

Over this last year, so many things frightened me: sending newsletters, sharing personal stories, creating blog posts on more controversial topics, performing workouts on camera, speaking (gasp!) on camera, promoting my own programs, etc.

Thing is, there’s absolutely no way I could have done any of those things if I didn’t just… start doing them. As Harry Truman famously quipped, imperfect action is better than perfect inaction.

Action creates momentum, which in turn makes it easier to keep going. Any time I’ve gotten stuck or overwhelmed, I’ve turned to a super simple strategy: asking myself what was the one thing, the smallest bit of action I could take that would bring me closer to where I wanted to go that day, and then going for it.

Perfect? Never. But perfection’s truly overrated!

Wherever and whenever you’ve come in during this last year,
I want to thank you—truly.

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