HOW EMOTIONS MANIFEST IN OUR BODY
I recently realized how out of touch I was with how emotions manifested themselves in my physical body. In fact, if you’d asked me about it as recently as last year, I probably would have given you a very puzzled look.
My first foray into reconnecting emotion with its physical and physiological manifestations was when I read Dr. Brené Brown’s book I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think” to “I Am Enough”.
In her work, Brené Brown talks about recognizing the physiological symptoms of shame, and asks her readers to go through an exercise to describe how shame feels for them.
Going through that exercise, I was able to discern that shame brought about a tightening of my throat, a ringing in my ears, and the general sensation of not having enough air, as one experiences when being stuck in a very dusty, enclosed space.
While the exercise was quite a revealing one, I stopped there and never thought to extend the experience to other feelings.
Honestly? It was just too uncomfortable.
It wasn’t for several other months that I took the time to revisit the concept and explore how emotion could manifest in my body, beyond the usual markers like smiling, laughter or tears, which usually arrive much later in the process.
I’d been thinking for a while about feelings; more precisely, about reconnecting with them.
See, for years, I simply didn’t want to feel. I’d gotten myself attached to the notion that any type of big feeling, be it positive or negative, was a bad thing. That it was uncool. I relentlessly worked to desensitize myself, believing that any extreme feeling would be a weakness, a way for others to take me down.
In the process, I completely lost the awareness of the physical manifestations linked to emotions. Now that I think of it, I spent a solid decade dealing with solid physical pain, never even once thinking that it could have its roots anywhere other than in the affected joints. Reconnecting the two was seriously overdue.
It actually took a conversation about fear.
In 2015, at the I Am Power Retreat in Austin, Texas, Jarrett Arthur—self-defense instructor extraordinaire—was leading a discussion on how fear felt, beyond the oft-recognized “gut feeling” that many of us have.
As the discussion progressed, I not only realized that I could actually recognize how emotions—either good or bad—manifest in my own body, but that it could be extremely precious knowledge, if I attuned myself to it.
Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge.
Audre Lorde
One of the first physical manifestations I was able to notice wasn’t, actually, the proverbial weight lifted off my shoulders. It was a release in my lower back.
Interestingly, I’ve long considered myself as someone with a temperamental sacroiliac joint. To suddenly be aware of a pleasant release in that part of my body each time I was able to let go of my desire to control a situation, and recognize that whatever was going on with other people had nothing to do with me? Mindblowing revelation!
Once I started paying attention to this phenomenon, I became quite curious about all the other ones I’d been missing. There had to be more, right?
A CASE FOR CLARITY
I’ve already written about how difficult it can be for us to know precisely how we feel, since we usually try to fit a mold how how we think we should feel. Having the extra input that our body can give us can certainly help in that sense.
Receiving news you think you should get excited about yet struggling to get there?
We’ll often stop and check what our brain and our heart are saying, and try to compare the answers. Still, we can be missing on so much!
How is your neck reacting?
What are your hips telling you?
What about your jaw?
Have you checked in with your hands?
There are as many body parts as there can be answers, once we start heeding them. And once we have a clearer picture of what’s going on, simply acknowledging how we truly feel can help us move through, and move forward.
As whole beings, our bodies, minds and hearts are inseparable. They constantly feed off each other, whether we’re aware of that conversation or not. Wouldn’t you like to get the whole story?
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